I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
