I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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