I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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