I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my shit smells like andre
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
