Do you still have your period?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
