Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize