i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
