You made me cry and you don't even care
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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