You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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