Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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