BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
