All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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