It was confusing and full of hummus
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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