I need help removing her.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
