oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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