I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
