Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
