Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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