i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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