ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
