I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
