Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
