Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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