What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
