K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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