Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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