I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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