there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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