just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and she was petting her beer can
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
