It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
