Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have so much sex to catch up on
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
