he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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