Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
