Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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