If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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