she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
