I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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