I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
