Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
