a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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