I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
