matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
