dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
