He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
