is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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