Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
