question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
