I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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