just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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