My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
