If i come over, it means nothing
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
