that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
