please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
