There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I made him laugh his dick is mine
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
