u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
