You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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