Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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