haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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