i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
as a side note pls kill me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
