Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
