Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
