Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize