i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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