i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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